ALL OUT OF GALL

gall-bladderA few weeks ago, I was admitted to the hospital for a serious case of acute pancreatitis and cholecystitis. By the end of the 5-day stay, I was released with one less organ: my gallbladder. This rendition of Air Supply’s “All Out of Love” is dedicated to that little guy, wherever he is now.

“All Out of Gall”

I’m lying alone with my hand on my chest
Thinking of you ’til it hurts
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart

I wish you could carry the bile in my tummy
For times when I eat too much fat
It would make me believe in ice cream again
And French fries and chocolate (and chocolate)

I’m all out of gall, I’m so lost without you
I know you weren’t right, suffering for so long
I’m all out of gall, what am I without you
Those nasty gallstones were just too strong

I wish you’d come back and digest my food
During these long, winter nights
I’m reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
I think of you with every single bite

And what would I eat if you were in me right now
I could stuff my face until dawn
There’s no easy way, we had to part ways that day
I’m better off now that you’re gone (you’re gone)

I’m all out of gall, I’m so lost without you
I know you weren’t right, suffering for so long
I’m all out of gall, what am I without you
Those nasty gallstones were just too strong

Oooh, what are you digesting now?
What are you digesting now?
What are you digesting now?
What are you digesting now?

I’m all out of gall, I’m so lost without you
I know you weren’t right, suffering for so long
I’m all out of gall, what am I without you
Those nasty gallstones were just too strong

Original:

ODE TO ANTHROPOLOGIE, TO CHRIS ISAAK’S “WICKED GAME”

Wallet’s on fire and no one could save me but you.
It’s strange what desire will make flat broke people do.
I never dreamed that I’d meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I’d lose so much money to you.

No, I don’t want to fall in love (This store is only gonna break the bank)
No, I don’t want to fall in love (This store is only gonna break the bank)
With you (This store is only gonna break the bank)

What a wicked game to play, to make me spend this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, this dress fits perfectly.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me look this good.

And I want to fall in love (This store is only gonna break the bank)
No, I want to fall in love (This store is only gonna break the bank)
With you.

Wallet’s on fire and no one could save me but you.
It’s strange what desire will make flat broke people do.
I never dreamed that I’d love somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I’d give so much money to you.

No, I want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I want to fall in love (This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you (This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I… (This world is only gonna break your heart)
(This world is only gonna break your heart)

Nobody saves money.

YOUR OWN DIGITAL CLICHÉ

I retooled Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” to poke fun at recent buzzwords swirling around the digital atmosphere. For your convenience, the original is linked below. Feel free to play while reading my new set of lyrics.



DIGITAL CLICHÉ
Reach out and touch base
Your own digital cliché
Someone to hear your voicemail
Someone to email
Your own digital cliché
Someone to drink your kool-aid
A mindset that’s made

Teamplayers shifting paradigms
All across the internet lines
Get the buy-in
You’ll be a sensation

Take second best
To physical-ness
The bleeding edge
You need to leverage
Networking your brand
You know I’m a friend
Reach out and touch base
Reach out and touch base

Your own digital cliché
Someone to hear your voicemail
Someone to email
Your own digital cliché
Someone to drink your kool-aid
A mindset that’s made

Teamplayers shifting paradigms
All across the internet lines
Get the buy-in
You’ll be a sensation
Networking your brand
You know I’m a friend

Reach out and touch base

Your own digital cliché
Reach out and touch base
Reach out and touch base
Reach out and touch base
(Reach out, reach out)
Reach out and touch base

Reach out and touch base